Little Pink Plus Sign
by SoLittleMotivation
Summary: If anyone asked Ally, she'd say it was Trish's fault. She was the one who dragged them to that stupid party after all. If you asked Austin, it was his. He was the one too drunk to think anything through. But it didn't matter whose fault it was or wasn't-because Ally was keeping her best friend's baby. With or without Austin's help.
1. Chapter 1

She looked down.

_Oh god. _She though bitterly, _Let this not be the only test I pass this week._

And then she felt the tears pricking at the corner of her eye.

The tiled floor of the bathroom spun around her. She leaned over and threw up, heaving into the toilet.

She put her hands on her knees and pushed herself up, looking at the test again. The little pink plus sign burned itself into her vision.

She felt like she was going to throw up again.

At first, when all this started three weeks ago, she had thought it was the hangover. Trish had dragged her and Austin to some stupid party at her cousin's house. There had been beer, and things had gotten a little out of hand when the beer pong had started.

Needless to say, she had woken up, naked, next to Austin the next morning, in the spare room of Trish's house.

She had run out before Austin could wake up.

But, then, after two weeks of the stomach flu, Trish had suggested trying _this_. "Just to make sure," she had said, "That we're not dealing with what I think we're dealing with."

Ally leaned over and threw up again. _Dammit._

"Ally?" Someone knocked on the door. "Are you in there?" Austin's voice seemed to reverberate around her skull.

She quickly shoved the pregnancy test into the trash can.

It took all of the sixteen-year old girl's strength to stand up and walk to the bathroom door. She swung it open, attempting a smile for her best-friend. "Hey."

"Hey." He replied. "Are you okay in there?"

She tried to nod, and found herself on the ground again, dry-heaving.

Austin gently knelt next to her. "You're obviously not." He picked her up, and she put up very little resistance. Had she always seemed so light?

He set her down in her bed. "I'm gonna call Trish, okay?"

She nodded, exhausted.

As he walked out of the room, she sat up and curled into a little ball, wrapping her arms around her knees.

How on Earth was she supposed to tell him?

** I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M WRITING.**

** Review.**

** Kthxbye.**

** Jenny, who is way to old for this.**


	2. Chapter 2

Austin decided to wash his hands before getting anywhere near a phone, just in case whatever Ally had was contagious.

He walked into the bathroom, trying to ignore the horrible, throw-up smell.

He washed his hands, and reached for the towel hanging aabove the trashcan. He happened to look down, and saw the one object in the bin.

_Was that a thermometer?_

But of course it wasn't.

And, of course, since he was sixteen years old, and curious as hell, he had to kneel down and peer at it (without touching it, because, if something was in the trash, it probably was there for a reason) and peered at it.

Something within him cracked.

He stood up, and turned off his phone. He locked the bathroom door and leaned against it, running his fingers through his hair. He felt like he was going to cry. Not for himself, but for Ally.

Why was he such a selfish asshole? Why did he have to do _that _to her? Why couldn't he just tell her how he felt, or kiss her, in stead of knocking her up? Was one night worth sacrificing his best friend's future? And what about him?

He sunk to the floor, and put his head in his hands.

He was supposed to be a pop-star someday, not a teen father.

He briefly considered running out the door, or jumping out the bathroom window, never coming back to Ally again. He could just leave all this behind him, all the stupidity, all the blame that would be placed on him...

He decided he was an asshole even for _thinking_ about that. Just four weeks ago he was trying to work up the nerve to tell her how he really felt.

He couldn't leave her. It was his fault, after all, that she had to deal with this.

He thought about her kneeling on the floor in that very room, dry-heaving. He thought about how miserable she looked.

And he knew he couldn't leave.

He stood up, a knot in the pit of his stomach, and looked at himself in the mirror, leaning on the counter. He wondered when she was going to tell him, if ever.

He was sure it was his baby, his accident that was causing her all this pain, and she knew it, too. He unlocked the door, turned on his phone, and called Trish.

The call went straight to voicemail.

He hung up before he made some stupid decision- like telling her everything.

He stood outside of the door to Ally's room and took a deep breath, trying to decide whether to confront her or not.

**Trolling 'cause reasons.**

**Review.**

**Jenny.**


	3. Chapter 3

Austin stepped through the doorway, and saw Ally curled in a little sideways ball, crying.

Like, inconsolably crying. She was shaking and kind of rocking back and forth, and Austin's heart just broke upon the sight of her. He hated being the one responsible for all her pain.

"Hey, Ally."

She didn't move. He sat down next to her on the bed, placing a hand on her back. She didn't try to shove it off, which was a bad sign. "Ally?"

She just cried harder.

He wrapped both arms around her, cradling her as she sobbed.

Finally, when she was out of tears, she looked up into his eyes. "How do you know? Did Trish tell you?"

He sighed, and hugged her, "Let's just say best friends know things."

Another tear slipped down her cheek. "Right. Best Friends."

He grabbed her hand, and said nothing.

He decided he was a total ass-hat.

Here was his chance, probably the best chance, to tell her how he felt (He had gotten her _pregnant_, for God's sake) and he was chickening out of it.

He just lay there, while she fell asleep with her head on his chest, and wondered if she had always looked so pretty.

And then Trish, the moment killer, called him back.

He shot up and sprinted out of the room, hoping his ringtone hadn't woken Ally up. (He was finally starting to doubt his choice of ringtones. The Mario theme was excellent and everything, but it started ridiculously loud and just got louder. Plus, his phone had a habit of going off at the worst possible moments.)

"_Hello?_" He whispered.

"Oh god, Austin, have you been crying?" Trish sounded, for once in her life, mildly concerned.

"No." he replied.

Trish was silent for a moment. Then, as if it was just dawning on her, she said "Oh. She is, isn't she?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah.".

Trish hung up the phone without saying another word.

Austin sighed and turned around, to find himself face to face with Ally.

"I think," She began, still pale, "We need to talk."

Austin ran a hand through his blonde hair. "Yeah. I think we do." He looked at the bathroom door. "But first, you might want to... dispose of the test."

She followed his gaze, and grew even paler. "We might just want to talk in there."

She ran through the door and began retching once again.

He sat at the deg of the bath tub and rubbed circles on her back.

** What. Am. I. Writing.**

** Jenny loves those who review.**


	4. Chapter 4

He sighed, seated on the rim of the bathtub, never taking his eyes off her hunched form kneeling on the cold tile floor. The air condit5ioner on the ceiling rattled and wheezed slightly, but it didn't drown out the sounds of her.

Ally was crying again. She was sobbing uncontrollably. She couldn't bring herself to finish a sentence.

Not to say she wouldn't try, that is. She would try over and over and over again to get out the words she was trying to say, the questions she was going to ask, but she would choke half-way through.

And Austin couldn't bring himself to say anything, either. Not what he was thinking, not what he was feeling,e not the questions buzzing around his head. He just watched her and felt guilty. Really horribly guilty.

He knew if he wasn't such a goddamn irresponsible idiot, she wouldn't be in this mess, tearing herself apart bit by bit on the bathroom floor.

He wasn't just an idiot, he was the worst best-friend ever. He was stupid and selfish and...

She leaned against his legs, which were hanging down from the edge of the tub. He slid down and sat next to her on the floor.

"Hey." He said tentatively.

She looked at him, eyes full of tears. "Hey." She seemed to be able to handle single syllables.

He wrapped his arm around her, the whole room seeming slightly colder.

"You didn't leave?" Ally said it as if it wasn't a statement, but a question.

"No." Austin said, rubbing her shoulder. "I didn't."

"Why?" Her eyes searched his, looking for a reasons to why someone would stay with such a pathetic creature.

_ C'mmon, _He thought, _This is it, Moon. Say it._

"Because," He began, "We're in this together." It was a lame attempt, he knew. He kissed her on the forehead, hoping to the gods of romance that single action would make up for his lame-ness.

She looked at him, and he could swear that, for a brief second, there was something besides tears in her eyes. Something happy.

And then, there, in the bathroom, two feet from a toilet that was slightly lower than eye-level, he had his first (sober) kiss with her.

She was still crying, just a little bit, so the kiss was saltier than most, but when they broke apart, she smiled the first real smile he had seen from her all day. He smiled back at her, and grabbed her hand. "So, Ally, are we doing this?"

She looked into his eyes, which reflected her teary ones.

"Yeah. I guess we are." She replied.

"Good."

** So I wrote this originally on my cell-phone during my off-period, so if it sucks, I'm sorry.**

** Jenny**

** Who has no sub-comment for this chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

They stayed there like that, eyes glued on the shut white door of the bathroom, for what seemed hours. Austin's phone rang. He ignored it.

Ally didn't blink when it rang. They just sat there, in silence, staring at a piece of wood as reality washed over them.

Someone was knocking on the door.

"Ally?"

It was Trish. She pushed the door open, and seemed surprised to see Austin there.

"You stayed." No 'Oh, hey Ally, how are you? Do you need a hug?'

Austin didn't move his gaze from the door, a point just beyond Trish's head.

"Yeah. I stayed."

Ally squeezed his hand.

Trish sighed. "Alright then, Austin." She sat down next to the two of them, turning her head towards Ally. "I'm so sorry, Ally.".

Her eyes remained transfixed on the wall. "Don't be."

"No. I f I hadn't dragged you guys with me to that party..."

"We chose to go." Austin said, finally turning his eyes towards her. "As much as you like to think you can control us, you can't. This is my fault. Not yours."

A tear slid out of Ally's eye, falling to the floor.

Trish looked at her. "Austin, can you go get Ally a drink of water?"

He stood and left, carefully dis-entwining Ally's fingers from his own.

Trish turned to her. "Are you keeping it?"

Ally didn't pull her gaze away from the blank wall. "He stayed, Trish. That was the deciding factor."

Trish sighed. "So, how do you plan to tell your parents?"

Ally's eyes got big, and she swiveled around to her best friend.

"I think I need to puke again."

Austin set the glass on the counter of the bathroom, kneeling next to Ally, who was ccrouched over the toilet again. He rubbed small circles on her back while Trish scrutinized him.

His phone buzzed. He checked it quickly, and seeing that it was a text from Dez, he gave Trish a meaningful look, and she rolled her eyes, though quickly took up comforting Ally.

He dialed the number quickly.

"Hey Dez, no time to talk. I'm at Ally's." He weighed the advantages and disadvantages of telling him why. He quickly decided against it, and hung up before Dez could respond. He knew it was rude, and probably hurt Dez's feelings, but he had bigger things to worry about.

**So yeah. You guys need to review more.**

** Kthxbye.**

** Jenny**

** Who secretly loves you for reading this far.**


	6. Chapter 6

Dez looked at his phone. He was honestly offended. Why would Austin, his best friend in the whole world, hang up on him?

Because something was wrong, that was why.

Dez tucked his phone into his brand-new phone holder (originally designed for an egg he was supposed to carry around for health class, though he had accidently cooked it)and straightened his fedora.

He pulled out his driver's lisence, smiled at it, and climbed into his mom's mini-van.

"Don't worry Austin." He whispered. "Whatever kind of mess you've gotten yourself into, I'll get you out of it, buddy."

Trish looked out the window. "Um, Austin?"

The group had set up camp in Ally's bedroom. Ally was seated on the bed, looking nervous while holding a trash can in her lap. Austin was lounging next to her, an arm slung protectively over her shoulder.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice sounding slightly hoarse.

"Did you tell Dez where we were?"

Austin stood and looked out the window. "Shit." He ran a hand through his hair. "What do we tell him?"

He watched his friend lock his mini-van, and walk up to the door. "What do we tell him?"

Trish frowned. "Nothing, Austin. We tell him absolutely nothing."

He looked at her. "How can I tell my best friend nothing?"

Dez chose the perfect moment to walk in. "Tell your best friend what?"

Austin glanced at Trish, who made frantic hand movements at him.

"Nothing." Austin grinned, though on the inside he just wanted to be straight with him. "Tell my best friend... Nothing."

Dez surveyed him, then smiled. "Well, alright then! Are we holding some sort of secret Team Austin meeting in here? Maybe something about the tour Trish emailed me abou..."

Now Trish was gesturing frantically at Dez.

Ally looked up, pale again. "Tour?"

Trish walked up to her, and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. "Um... Jimmy told me that the record label has decided they want Austin...and his team, to go on a cross-country tour. But, if you're not up to it..." She trailed off as Ally's eyes grew huge.

Austin had a similarly shocked expression.

Dez just looked confused. "Wait, why wouldn't Ally be up for it?"

Trish looked Dez straight in the eyes. "Dez, would you go get us all some water?"

Dez nodded. "Sure, but why would Ally..." Trish shoved him out the door, and slammed it behind him.

Then she turned to Austin and Ally and attempted to smile at them.

He sat next to Ally and grabbed her hand. "Anything else your neglecting to tell us?"

Trish sighed, and sat at the end of the bed. "The tour's already been scheduled. Austin, you don't have a choice in coming, but Ally..."

The couple looked at each other.

** Mhm. This is what I'm doing instead of math homework.**

** I'm trading my diploma for this.**

** So review.**

** Kthxbye.**

** Jenny**

** Who now is just outright in love with you for reading this far and doesn't care who knows.**


	7. Chapter 7

_ "Whatever you choose." _whispered Austin, his forehead pressed to hers. "_I'll stand by you."_

Her eyes seemed to probe his. She pulled away. "I'm coming." She looked at Trish. "If I didn't people would wonder. They'd figure it out."

Trish looked at her best friend. "They're going to anyways, Ally."

Ally stared her down, and Trish realized exactly what she meant.

By people, she meant her parents.

And, if they were to find out, she wanted to be as far away from them as possible. Trish sighed.

"Fine, Ally."

Austin

By some kind of minor miracle, Dez didn't find out that day, and neither did Ally's dad.

He grudgingly helped Ally pack for the tour, badgering her about the logistics (No, she didn't know which stop was first, yes, there would be a tutor, and, yes, she had access to a laundry machine.)

And then, in the midst of folding one of Ally's shirts, he sat down on her bed and looked her in the eyes.

"Ally, your mother and I both love you, and, if she wasn't in Africa, I'm sure she'd say this,too." He grabbed one of her hands, looking awkward. "We trust you to make the right decisions. I know you're sixteen now, and, legally, you can be without an adult, but..." He reached out and stroked her cheek. "Just... be careful, alright? Especially with Austin."

Her heartbeat picked up. He knew.

But he didn't. He placed the folded shirt carefully in one of Ally's bags, and smiled slightly, though it seemed forced. "He may just be your friend, but...I know how teenage boys can be."

Ally turned red. He was trying to give her 'the talk'.

It was, in her professional opinion, a bit late for that. But, like always, she waved it off. "Yeah, dad, I know. I'll be...careful."

He smiled, for real this time. "I'm so proud of you Ally."

He hugged her, and Ally hugged him back, feeling horribly guilty.

Dez had decided that, despite having Austin's face spray-painted on the side, the whole tour-bus set-up was pretty sweet.

He was watching Ally say a tearful goodbye to her dad out of the window next to his reclining chair, while Austin sat in a suspended chair, strumming an acoustic guitar and looking both thoughtful and mournful.

Something had been up with him lately.

And, when Ally climbed up the stairs of the bus, tears running down the sides of her face, and he saw Austin's expression, something clicked.

He had another piece of the puzzle.

Austin had _so _tapped that.

Dez turned to ask Trish about it, and, when he saw her expression, he stopped.

She looked serious.

Trish was never serious.

** So, that "not doing math homework" thing kinda got my parents upset, so you can expect updates less frequently.**

** But, fear not, dear people who actually read this story, (which my friend who writes One Direction fanfiction [apparently a thing now] mocks me for) you can expect updates at least once a week.**

** Unless I'm punished again.**

** Xoxo**

** Jenny**

** Who really, truly, loves you.**


	8. Chapter 8

Austin put his fingers in the correct position for the "f" chord and strummed once.

It sounded wrong.

He strummed again.

It sounded wrong again.

Just as he was about to strum a third time, Ally got on the bus.

She was crying, and pale, and looked like she was going to throw up.

Austin practically threw down his guitar and stood up. He wrapped his arms around Ally's ribcage and just held her.

. "_I don't know if I can do this, Austin._" She whispered through her tears..

"_You know you don't have to." _He replied, stroking her hair.

_"But I know I can't do this here, alone." _She pulled back, still pale and crying, and looked at him.

He smiled at her, trying to both reassure her and fool Dez into thinking nothing was up, and offered her the couch next to his chair. She lay down, and fell asleep almost immediantly.

Austin looked at Trish, who was standing behind Dez (despite the fact that they were on a _moving bus_) and she frowned at him.

He shrugged, and looked back to Ally, whose tear-stained cheeks were turning back to their normal hue.

Austin was still awake when she woke up, around 2 am.

"You should get some sleep." She said, simply, sitting up and stretching. "Big day tomorrow."

He climbed onto the couch with her.

He lay down, wrapping his arms around her waist. She stretched out next to him, murmuring "Move over, Austin."

He kissed the back of her head, pressed his back into the cushions, and replied softly, "Nope. My couch."

** So someone, though I don't remember who, asked me where my inspiration for this story came from.**

** The day I started writing a story like this (at least, mentally) was when I was really sick, in Florida, on tons of cold meds. **

** Then, a year and a half later, I found some Austin and Ally fic and I was like, "Maybe I could write a better one of these"**

** So I did. (Though it probably isn't better)**

** And then I just kept going.**

** This story's my baby.**

** My baby that I'm pretty ashamed of.**

** Because I'm too old for Austin and Ally.**

** Love you guys with all my heart, with the exception for the broken part my ex left behind.**

** Jenny.**


	9. Chapter 9

Austin slept fitfully.

Not physically fitfully, but he woke up every thirty minutes or so, head pounding.

So, around seven, after a few hours of this, he gave up, and sat, carefully, as not to disturb Ally, hooking in his ear buds and turning up his i-pod, trying to drown out his pain with music.

He could watch the sun rise outside of his window.

The bus trundled up to the front of the Atlanta performance center. Austin was still the only one awake, and he pressed his face against the window, one arm still protectively wrapped around Ally. Despite the fact that it was only eight in the morning, a legion of fans still waited to greet them in front of the center, screaming, waving, jumping up and down...

Ally sat up, rubbing her eyes. Her color had returned to normal, and, though her eyes were swollen from crying, she looked a bit happier than she had the night before.

"Oh my God." she whispered. "Look at all the fans."

The un-wakeable Trish sat up. "Fans?" she groaned, eyes still half-glued shut with sleep.

"Yeah." replied Austin, simply.

"Are you wearing pants?" She sighed, attempting to rub her eyes to wake up.

Austin looked down. He had slept in his jeans. "...yeah..."

"And a shirt?"

Austin was not. Somehow, in the middle of the night, during one of his sudden spells of sleep, Ally had managed to pull it off him, and use it as a pillow.

Without him noticing.

He looked at her, and she mumbled something he couldn't understand, blushing slightly, but not giving him his shirt back.

Trish, without completely opening her eyes, groaned. "Get a clean shirt on, greet you fans, then go to hair, make-up, and wardrobe. Ally, go with him." She lay back down, rolled over, and began to snore softy.

Austin, per her instructions, grabbed a clean shirt and threw it on, running a hand through his hair so it didn't look completely idiotic, and Ally put on a clean dress, thanking god that she had braided her hair the day before, so it looked mildly presentable.

Dez woke up as they were leaving, and had a minor panic attack upon waking up in a strange place and not remembering that it was the tour bus.

Austin calmed him down, then helped Ally off the bus.

The crowd was so loud that Austin thought his ears might fall off. He had an instantaneous headache, and wished he had slept better the night before.

He smiled through the pain though, and upon glancing over at Ally, saw that she was doing the same thing, though she was starting to look a little pale again.

Their body guards (in reality just more of Trish's numerous cousins) herded them through the masses, and into the cool convention center.

** Hi guys. So this the weekly update- you'll probably get at least two next week since it'll be Thanksgiving break here in the states and I'll have a four-hour flight to write, so...**

**Yeah.**

**Lots of Love (Happy Veteran's Day!)**

**Jenny**


	10. Chapter 10

"**Hey Jenny, where's your update?"**

**HERE.**

The woman pushed Ally into a chair, spinning it around to face her.

She frowned, then turned around, grabbing a long strip of paper, dripping with wax.

"You ever waxed your eyebrows before, sugar?" she asked, inspecting Ally's brows.

"No?" Responded Ally, carefully.

The woman smiled at her. "Then this is gonna hurt, sorry."

Ally thought she might puke again. The woman carefully placed the paper in particular places around her eyes, then yanked them off. Ally tried to avoid screaming.

"There, honey. I'm done. Sorry it hurt so bad." The woman looked apologetic.

As the pain ebbed, Ally reached up and touched the smooth skin around her eyebrows. The woman spun her chair so it was facing the mirror. "We reshaped them a little, but they're still yours." Ally felt the sudden urge to hug the woman. Her eyebrows were thinner, more arched, and, in Ally's opinion, looked like a movie star's.

She briefly wondered what kind of person she was becoming.

The woman then proceeded to put on her makeup for the interview preceding the concert, and sent her on her way to wardrobe, but not before giving her a hug.

"My name's Marcie, by the way."

The woman in wardrobe, it turned out was Marcie's sister, Mary. They were twins with highly uncreative parents.

The woman carefully dressed Ally, putting her in a floral dress and high heels, before sending her back to air and makeup for her hair to be done.

The male stylist greeted her in a high-pitched, feminine voice. "Hey, Ally, I'm Richard. I'm doing your hair this entire tour, so we're gonna be good friends."

He gossiped to her while he washed, dried, highlighted, cut, and styled her hair. He looked her in the eyes, before spinning her around to face the mirror. "Talk to me about anything, okay?"

She caught sight of her hair and smiled. For once in a very long time, she felt pretty.

She met Austin outside of the press conference room. He looked good, as always, though a little overwhelmed. His hair had been restyled, and he was in a more "Austin Moon- Super star" outfit.

He grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, leaning in and kissing her gently.

Ally thought she heard the snap of a camera behind them. She whipped around, and saw no one there.

Austin looked at her. "Ready, Ally?"

She sighed. "As I'll ever be."

Trish did most of the talking, actually, Austin sitting there and smiling, holding Ally's hand under the table, relationship under wraps until Trish would say it didn't have to be.

Ally felt sick. The moment the conference was over, after she was returned to hair and makeup to prepare for the concert that night, she threw up. Marcie held a trash can for her, while Ally cried and gagged.

Only after she had assured Marcie that she was okay, and downed a bottle of water under the careful eye of her and her sister, did Marcie resume carefully applying makeup to her face.

Marcie eyed her carefully. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ally stayed still for a moment. Then, "Marcie... I'm pregnant."

The woman set down her makeup brush and looked at the girl. "How old are you? Whose baby is it?"

"Sixteen." Ally replied. "Austin's."

Marcie sighed. "Well, honey, if you ever want someone to talk to, I'm here. As are Mary and Richard."

Ally smiled sadly. "Thank you."

Marcie nodded. "Do you mind if I talk to Austin about it?"

Ally shook her head. "But he feels pretty guilty about it, I think, so..."

Marcie smiled. "I'll be nice." She stood they girl up, surveying her makeup. "Now run along. Maybe you can catch Austin before the concert."

**FLUFFFLUFFFLUFFFLUFFFLUFF. FLUFF.**

** Xoxoxo.**

** Jenny.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So I realized that the last few chapters have been kind of crappy, so I've decided to put a bit more effort into this chapter. If it suddenly gets really angsty or something, I apologize.**

Ally walked up behind Austin, who was seated on the concrete stairs in the performance center, head in his hands.

"Austin?" She said, quietly.

He looked up, and forced a smile. "Hey, Ally."

She sat down carefully next to him, grabbing his hand. His fingers curled around hers instinctively, clasping her hand tighter than usual. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" She whispered, her breath tickling his ear.

"What isn't?" He answered.

Ally lifted her head off his shoulder, and looked at him. "You've got me. I'm pretty sure that's not wrong."

He refused to make eye contact with her. "The reasons for it are wrong, Ally. If we weren't in our current situation, would I still have you?"

She squeezed his hand. "Yeah, Austin, you would."  
He looked at her,something in his eyes heartbroken, and unwound his fingers from hers. "No, I wouldn't Ally. You've only ever wanted to live with rockstars, be your own person. I'm keeping you from being able to do that."

She broke eye contact. "Look, that's not all I've ever wanted. There's more. I've always wanted you."

He stood, looking down at her. "Is it worth sacrificing your future for me?"

She felt sick to her stomach again. She threw a hand over her mouth, standing, and sprinted towards the nearest bathroom. She barely made it in to the nearest stall to the door.

She knelt on the cold linoleum, thinking she was alone.

Then, she felt the warm hand on her back. Austin was back. He rubbed circles on her back, the same way he had the first time the morning sickness had come.

Ally, once she was sure her stomach was empty, leaned back from the toilet, and looked at his concerned face.

"Yeah." she whispered. "You're worth it."

He helped her up, and embraced her.

Austin knelt behind Ally, hand gently placed on her back. He wondered how he could have been such a moron.

He at first had what he wanted, then he had to pay for the consequences of it, then he had what he wanted again, then here he was, trying to convince what he finally had to leave him.

And then, he just had to wonder what kind of idiot managed to get his best friend pregnant.

Ally sat up, and turned to him.

"Yeah," she whispered, "You're worth it."

He hugged her, silently thanking god that she hadn't given him up.

"Austin," she mumbled.

"Yeah?" he responded, stroking her hair.

"I'm scared."

He wondered if she was talking about the concert or the future.

He figured both.

"Me too." He murmured.

** Yeah so I don't know.**

** Sorry if that was crap. I've been a bit distracted lately. Anyways, here's the other chapter you were promised.**

** This story's going to be longer than I thought it would be.**

** Let's see how long the enthusiasm lasts.**

** Do me a favor, guys. Read and review, okay? Even if You think it sucks.**

** Love ya!**

** Kthxbye**

** Jenny.**


	12. Chapter 12

Austin wrung his hands, music repeating in his head. His fingers tapped against each other in the rhythmic patterns of the music the band was playing.

He closed his eyes, humming to himself. Twenty seconds left. Twenty seconds of _him _. Of being himself. His nervous, sleep-deprived self. Twenty seconds of frowning left. Twenty seconds before he had to force a smile onto his face, jump onto stage, and sing. Sing and dance as if everything was okay. Which everything definitely was not.

"Good luck." someone breathed into his ear.

He turned on his smile, turning to face Ally. "You too."

Ally smiled softly back at him. He took her hand, kissed it, and murmured, "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." He could see tears welling in her eyes "Listen, Ally..." He was interrupted by the sudden start of music, real music, reverberating around the backstage area.

Ally slid her hand out of his own, after squeezing it gently. Austin began beaming, hoping that he didn't look like he was in as much pain as he felt, and ran on to the stage.

Ally waited for her cue, wiping her hands under her eyes, trying to stop the tears from running down her face. "Pull yourself together," she whispered, "You can do this." She had to ask herself which 'this' she was referring to.

The music got louder and slower. She knew it was what she had been waiting for, and she tried to turn on her smile, big and bright, like Austin did. She stepped on stage.

As soon as Austin had preformed his final encore of the night, he ran into the bowels of the center, searching for Ally. He found her hugging Trish, crying. They were seated on the floor of the make-up room. Marcie had apparently decided to give them some space.

He bent his knees, and crouched behind Trish, so Ally could see his face.

"Hey." He whispered. "You were beautful out there."

She smiled through her tears, though the water continued to stream down her face. "Thanks." She mumbled, "But that was terrifying."

Trish sighed. "But you did awesome, Ally. Your duet went perfectly. Why are you still crying?"

"Because," Ally said, through her tears, "I'm still terrified."

Austin kissed the top of her head. "Me too."

Trish stayed quiet, absorbed in trying to figure out how to work around everything that was happening. Her cousin, seeming to appear from nowhere, entered the room, and waved at Trish. Austin held Ally as she cried, and attempted to lip read whatever Trish and her cousin were saying. He couldn't tell what they were saying (unless it really _was _something about cabbages and watermelon) but he knew it was bad when her eyes grew big. She looked at him, frowned, and ran out of the room.

** Heheheh. That was shit. So, anyways, noble followers who love me despite my inability to write when exhausted from swimming and school and weight training and family issues, I have a few things to say. Mainly, I'm apologizing for my lack of updating last week, but I'd also like to explain that you probably won't get an update until, oh, December 22nd or so. Because finals, that's why.**

** So, with much love and affection (and a happy Chanukah! As well as Christmas if I get really lazy) I wish you happy days!**

** Also, for those of you who have yet to take finals: Good Luck!**

** Kthxbye**

** Lots of love**

** Jenny**


	13. Chapter 13

**So by "on the 22nd" I meant before midnight (MST) on the 23rd. Must say I'm pretty damn proud of myself here.**

Trish looked over the slightly shiny magazine in her hand.

"_Austin Moon's New Girl?_" The cover read. The front picture appeared to be a grainy photograph of Austin kissing Ally's cheek.

She felt infuriated and slightly, though she would never admit it, lost. If she couldn't keep _this _under wraps, how was she supposed to conceal the whole pregnancy thing? Trish took a deep breath. "Mientras," she said to her cousin, "Tienes un idea para que hacemos?" he shook his head.

She sighed and turned around. No ideas. Her phone buzzed, and she answered it tiredly.

"Ms. De La Rosa, do you have any conformation on Austin Moon's relationship with Ally Dawson?"

Trish was silent for a moment, as she walked back to the room where Austin and Ally were. She paused in front of the door. "Yes." She said, giving up just a little, "I confirm it. They are dating." she hug up the phone Before she could be asked another question. She pushed the door open at full force, rushing into the room. She saw that Austin was still holding Ally, though she was no longer crying. Instead, she was sniffling as he rocked her gently back and forth. Neither seemed to notice what Trish had considered a dramatic and loud entrance. She cleared her throat, clutching the magazine in one hand and her phone in the other.

_ C'mmon, Trish. _She thought to herself, _Keep your cool. Don't get angry._ "Do you know," she began, as Ally untangled herself from Austin, "What this is?" Her teeth were gritted as she waved around the periodical in what she hoped was a menacing gesture.

"Star Magazine." Answered Austin, carefully, "I did an interview with their sister company, _Fame, _Like six months ago. Why?"

Trish cleared her throat once more and flipped open to the section in which she knew the story was. "Austin Moon," she began to read, "Teen pop star currently touring the United States, was recently spotted kissing song-writer, Ally Dawson, on the cheek before a major press conference began. Does this mean this pop-star is no longer on the market? Star thinks so!" Trish closed the pages. "It the goes on to analyze this photo," she pointed to the front cover, "In every possible way. It also," she rolled her eyes, "Speculates on the dates you two go on, along with how often you," She pointed to Austin, "Try to get in her pants." She moved her finger towards Ally, "And how many times he's succeeded."

Austin raised an eyebrow. "How many?"

Trish glared at him. "Now is not the time to be a teenage boy."

Austin grinned at her, still goofing around despite the circumstances.

"..Seven." Trish sighed.

Austin grabbed the magazine from her and flipped to the page, eyes wide, as Ally rolled her eyes as if to say, "_my boyfriend is the world's biggest moron."_

Trish sat next to her best friend, and, for the first time in a long while, wrapped an arm around her and said, in the way that only true friends can, "Ally, are you okay?"

Ally looked at her. "For now, I am." She said, returning her hug. "But now only lasts so long."

**I figured it had been a while since I had written something that wasn't all gushy and stuff. Plus, I don't know how often you hang around teenage guys, but I think this makes Austin just a teensy more relatable. K. Well, I'll update soon. Keep the reviews and follows coming!**

** Kthxbye,**

**Jenny. Who lovvvvves you.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Ohai. It's been awhile, hmmm? Yes. I think so. And since the views for this story are currently 15,999, I thought I might need another chapter to boost me to that 16,000 mark. So here. LOVE ME AGAIN!**

Ally climbed carefully onto the bus the next morning, tired and shaky from having stayed up all night throwing up. Austin followed her, arms in a position to catch her just in case she fell, which seemed very likely. Trish followed him, and, Dez, glaring and grumbling, trailed behind them.

Ally sat gingerly on the sofa, and Austin sat next to her, letting her lean her head on his shoulder as she took deep rattling breaths, trying to fall asleep. Though her eyelids were heavy, and moving felt as if she was pushing through concrete, she couldn't get sleep to engulf her. Her stomach felt sloshy and full, though she hadn't been able to eat for about sixteen hours. Trish sat on her other side, carefully grabbing her hand.

"Ally," she whispered, casting a sideways glance towards Dez, who was doing a very poor job attempting to conceal his eavesdropping, "I think you need to go a doctor."

Ally used all the strength she had left to shake her head. "So I have a little bit of morning sickness. That's normal." Her voice was breathy and feeble, and both Austin and Trish had trouble understanding her. They shared knowing glances, and Austin placed a gentle kiss on the top of Ally's head.

"You're the boss." he whispered, and looked up to Trish, who frowned. He raised his eyebrows.

Austin could feel Ally's breath tickling his ear an hour later, hear her quiet breathing pattern as she slept.

Trish glanced over at Dez, who was asleep, then gestured at Austin to stand up. He did so carefully, placing a rolled up hoodie under Ally's head and following her friend towards the back of the bus.

"Austin, I don't care what she says, she needs to got to the doctor's." Trish's tone was measured, and Austin could tell she was on the verge of freaking out.

Austin felt a lump of worry swell in his throat. "Why?" he whispered.

Trish sighed. "She just shouldn't be getting this sick so often. Plus she's about two and a half months in. The morning sickness should be gone by now, right?"

Austin nervously ran a hand through his hair, shrugging.

Trish sighed. "Austin, if you don't make a decision about this, I will."

Austin looked back at where Ally was curled up with his sweatshirt. "Okay." He looked back to Trish. "Let's stop at a Planned Parenthood or something."

Trish surveyed the two. Austin had a sweatshirt on, hood pulled over his head, and a large pair of dark sunglasses covered the majority of his face. Ally was dressed similarly. Trish didn't want to have to deal with Star ar Fame or another magazine finding out another secret of Austin's. The driver parked the tour bus several blocks away, and Austin and Ally quietly got off the bus as to not wake Dez, who was still asleep.

Austin walked Ally very carefully to the clinic, where the two entered through a side door, Trish having called in advance and per-arranged an appointment.

As Ally stepped through the door, she felt unsteady on her feet. _Oh god. _She thought, _Not now. _Austin steadied her, and she tried to keep down her throw-up. It didn't work.

A nurse at the clinic helped Austin carry her into an exam room, and then shooed him out, closing the door in his face.

He turned and walked to the waiting room, sitting in a wooden chair, and opened the copy of Star Magazine Trish had showed them the day before, trying to keep himself from imagining what horrible thing was wrong with Ally, an intense feeling of guilt settling over him.

** Read. Review. Earn my undying love (of which you already have, but...)**

** kthxbye. **

** Jenny**


	15. Chapter 15

The nurse looked at her clipboard. "Alright. Ally Dawson?"

Ally nodded, and the woman smiled at her. "You're my daughter's hero, just so you know."

Ally nodded again, then, whispering, "Will I still be her hero with all this?"

The nurse looked at the chart, her face falling slightly. "I certainly hope so."

The woman sighed and looked back at Ally. "Would you lay back, please? I just want to feel your stomach." Ally complied.

Austin stared at the magazine, flipping a page every minute or so out of habit, but not truly reading. A guy about his age sat down next to him. He looked about as nervous as Austin felt.

"Hey." Austin took off his sunglasses and looked at the other boy.

"Hey." The boy responded, monotonously. He seemed to notice that Austin was about his age. "You here the same reason I am?"

Austin nodded. "I'm guessing yes."

The boy sighed. "Her parents kicked her out. I didn't know until yesterday."

Austin assumed he was talking about his girlfriend. "Her parents don't know. Not yet."

The boy flipped his dark hair slightly. "Well, good luck telling them, man. Her dad came after me with a shotgun. Everyone found out after that. My health teacher gave me an F in the one class I'd had an 'A' in."

Austin looked at him. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen. How 'bout you?"

Austin rubbed his temples. "Same."

"Kinda scary, isn't it? I mean, the whole idea of parenthood."

The blonde nodded. "Terrifying. And it just makes me feel stupid. It was my fault, you know. I barely got a 'C' in health, and now I know why."

The other boy stood up as a nurse walked into the room and waved at him. "I know what you mean, man. Good luck."

Austin nodded again. "You too."

He put his hands behind his head and leaned back.

"_Come on, guys. It'll be fun!"_

_Ally rolled her eyes and looked at Austin, who shrugged. "Trish, neither of us really like parties all that much."_

_Trish looked at them pleadingly. "Pretty please come? I need to know someone there who isn't a cousin."_

_Austin sighed. "Fine. I'll go if Ally does."Ally elbowed him sharply. "Ow!"_

"_Great!" Trish grinned. "Let's go!"_

_The music pounded outside of the bedroom door. Austin was acutely aware of the fact that he was getting drunk. But the more he drank, the more the sense shrank into some kind of fuzzy warning in the back of his mind. Ally clung to him, laughing. He tried to remember if he'd said something funny. She reached up to his face, cupping it gently. He leaned down and kissed her. It was far from magical. But there was some kind of real passion in it, something beyond just being drunk and stupid._

"_Austin," Ally moaned, as his hands crept up her shirt, her fingers pulling at his hair, "Austin..."_

"Mr. Moon?" The nurse waved a hand in front of his face. "Ms. Dawson would like to talk to you." He stood, and followed her quietly back to the exam room.

Ally was there, seated on the exam table, eyes wet with tears. He sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her and she buried her head into his chest.

"Shh." He whispered into her hair, "I'm here. Shh... It's gonna be okay."

He looked up at the nurse, who smiled at him, sadly.

** *Bows dramatically* This chapter was result of me listening to the same song on loop for like three hours while attempting to overcome severe writer's block.**

** Review, my lovelies.**

** Kisses!**

** Jenny**


	16. Chapter 16

** This chapter is dedicated to **Nia** (wherever and whoever they are) for their beautiful review, and anyone else who took the time to review last chapter. Or any chapter. I'm a big fan of reviews.**

The doctor made an imaginary circle around the ultrasound. "Alright. So this is the baby..." She pointed at a tiny curled up thing among a sea of darkness. "Which is developing normally." She looked at Ally, who was still crying into Austin's chest, then looked back to the nurse standing behind her. "However, Miss Dawson's body appears to be rejecting the nutrients that it needs. The fetus appears to be healthy, but the pregnancy is taking a high tole on Miss Dawson's health. If you two decide to carry the pregnancy out to term, it would most likely mean hospitalization for the majority of the third trimester, if not all of it. The baby would also need to be delivered via Cesarian Section to avoid possible... consequences."

Austin rubbed a small circle on Ally's back. She no longer sounded like she was crying, merely sniffling to herself, obviously trying to keep it together.

"Of course," the doctor said, "The decision to terminate this pregnancy, or not to, is your choice. I can merely present you with the options."

"There are no options." whispered Ally, face still pressed to Austin, not letting herself pull away from him, because there, in his arms, it was warm, and safe, and smelled like Austin, the only smell that didn't make her want to throw up.

"Sorry, dear?" The doctor asked, "I didn't quite catch that."

Ally unwillingly unwrapped herself from Austin's embrace to look at the woman. "There will be no 'termination of pregnancy'."

Austin grabbed her hand, but said nothing, fingers intertwining with hers. A silent message of support.

"Alright then." The doctor said, "You appear to have made up your mind. However, I have a few requirements. Doctor's orders, so to speak. I'm going to let Caroline over here," she looked at the nurse, "Explain them to you. There's also a prescription here..." She pulled out a pad of yellow paper and scribbled something out on it, handing it to the nurse. She smiled the first genuine smile of the day at Ally. "Good luck." she said, before walking out into the hallway, closing the exam room door behind her.

The nurse turned to the two, carefully read the prescription, and handed it to Ally. "That should help with the nausea and subdue the hormones a little- and the other medication should help your body retain some nutrients." The woman stared at Austin. "As for you, Mr. Moon, you're going to need to make sure she drinks three full water bottles before lunch, eats enough, and takes her medicine. If she faints or suddenly gets dizzy, do _not _call for any type of doctor's appointment._ Immediately _call an ambulance." Her face was very serious. "If she loses more than ten pounds, take her to the hospital. This kind of situation can turn to a matter of life and death if not monitored very closely. It also makes her much more likely to miscarry- which means try to avoid being in a car for too long."

Austin looked over at Ally, who looked tired and slightly confused. He kissed the top of her head gently, then nodded, thinking he could talk Trish into renting hotel rooms.

Ally's eyes suddenly brightened, as if remembering something important. "Austin... Do we have any of those VIP backstage passes and tickets left?"

Austin blinked. "Um, yeah?"

Ally smiled, and he suddenly realized she wanted anything but to think about what was happening. "Why?"

"Because Caroline's daughter is a big fan." she squeezed his hand, and he smiled back down at her.

"Okay, Ally." He took the prescription from the nurse, and gingerly helped Ally to her feet. "I'll have Trish bring some by."

**BOOM. Two updates in two days. SHAZAM.**

**Review, por favor. **

**Te amo con todo de mi corazon (lol too lazy to use accents)**

**Jenny (who does, in fact, speak both Spanish and English. Just very lazily.)**


	17. Chapter 17

** Month Three**

Every morning for the past month, Austin had woken up at exactly six am, shaken two pills out of the little orange bottle he kept in his bag, filled a glass exactly half full with water, and woken Ally up by kissing her forehead. Every morning for the past month, he would pass the water and pills to her and watch her tilt her head back and swallow them. And every morning for the past month, he had made Ally stand on a scale while he carefully wrote down what the numbers read. Every day for the past month he had avoided catching Dez's eye, and every day for the past month Austin Moon had felt himself recede even further into himself.

Austin looked at the bottle and shook it slightly. He had seen correctly. Six pills. After that day, there would be enough for two more days. And then Ally would be dying again. He grabbed a pen from his bag and scribbled a reminder to himself about asking Trish to call the doctor about a prescription for a refill. He set the bottle down for a moment on the counter of the motel bathroom, leaning against the counter for support, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was rumpled and full of day-old gel from the concert last night. For the last month he had been hardly recognizable to himself.

"Pull yourself together." he whispered, "Pull yourself together." He turned on the sink and splashed cold water over his face. He picked up the little plastic cup next to the "hot" faucet, and unwrapped it carefully. He momentarily debated whether or not to fill it up all the way, considering how small it was. He wound up choosing not to break tradition, and filled it only half way. He shook the two pills from the bottle to his hand, and carefully carried them and the cup into the room, where Ally was fast asleep, hair flung wildly over her face.

Austin set the medication and water on the bedside table and sat next to her, bed creaking slightly. He leaned down and carefully kissed her forehead tenderly.

"Good morning." He whispered, and she smiled slightly, pale cheeks no longer flushing like they used to, eyes heavy with sleep.

"Austin.." she began, and he pressed his finger to her lips.

"Talking _after _medicine and weighing. Not before."

They went through their morning routine, and, only after Austin had run out to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts and bought himself coffee, did he allow Ally to tell him what she had been going to say. Which, ti turned out, was simply: "I have something I want to show you."

They were seated outside of their room, on the two seemingly-unnecessary steps from the door to the parking lot. The sun was just rising, and Ally had a small, portable keyboard placed on her lap, volume turned very low, as her fingers flew across the keys with a type of life that she herself hadn't possessed for three months.

Austin watched her fingers with awe, remembering exactly why he'd fallen in love with her in the first place.

And then, at the tail end of Month Three, (which was Austin's nickname for the month when he didn't understand exactly how prescriptions worked) Ally started to sing.

The lyrics weren't really anything yet, but the tune was there, mournful and quiet, slow and careful. But the melody itself was sweet.

Ally played it for about a minute and a half before Austin grabbed her right hand and pressed her fingers to his lips.

"God," he whispered, "You are so perfect."

He could swear there was the slightest blush in her cheeks when she grinned at him this time.

He placed on of his hands on the keyboard. "Now," he said, still quietly, "How about the lyrics?"

**THREE IN A ROW. I THINK I DESERVE INTERNET HUGS. Yes? No? Maybe? Whatever. Seriously, though guys, I am inspired by reviews. And right now I'm running on about five. But now I need some input: Should I put the lyrics to the song in here? Or just leave that a ****mystery? I will take your advice, readers.**

** So review.**

** Kthxbye.**

** LOTS AND LOTS AND MOUNTAINS OF LOVE,**

** Jenny.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Just FYI you will never find the song I have in this chapter because it DOES NOT EXIST. **

** Month Four Part 1**

_ Just an inch away_

_ but still not close enough to touch_

_ What those lips couldn't say_

_ Because it was too much._

_ Fly, Fly, Fly away_

_ On the wings of words you can't say_

Ally's fingers felt heavier than they had a week before, when she first started the song, and she had to actually think to move them across the piano. But she kept singing, eyes closed, focusing on only the song. Austin watched her as she sang, then she stopped and looked at him expectantly.

_All those things I never said,_

_ When I felt such shame, and hung my head,_

_ I'd take them back,_

_ But baby please don't blame me,_

_ just baby, look me in the eyes,_

_ like you did that one night,_

She joined him, voice trembling slightly, fingers growing heavier with each movement over the keyboard. He caught her gaze across the recording studio they'd been lucky enough to find on such short notice, and raised an eyebrow. She forced a grin, and he turned his head back to the microphone.

She let her face fall again.

_Before this I was so sure,_

_ But I'm not who I was, _

_ Not anymore._

_ Just an inch away,_

_ Just close enough to touch,_

_ But just too far to reach across._

Her hands and head felt like they were made of lead. They'd felt that way for a week. Every minute of every day, they'd grow just a tiny bit heavier, a bit harder to lift and pretend everything was okay with. And every day, there were a few more tiny black spots around her vision. Today, htough, the dots were coming up faster. Instead of a few, there were lots. Swarming in towards her vision, pounding back into her head. And, in that second, the heaviness wore off. Everything felt light as a feather. The black dots formed together and drowned out her vision. It was like falling asleep. Only easier.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she heard someone shouting, talking to her, felt them stroking her hand. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she felt like it was encouraging. She hoped it was Austin. She hoped Austin was there.

She couldn't tell, exactly, if she was awake or asleep. The line between the two, she was finding, was increasingly difficult to distinguish. She was sure she was awake one second, when she saw a ceiling fan above her head, but wasn't certain, as the little black dots came and overwhelmed the image before what she had known what was happening. And, all the while, she felt some kind of pressure on her abdomen. Increasingly painful and never relieved.

**Don't ask me what's happening because I'm not even quite sure.**

** Sorry this is late, but we're at the tail end of the current swim season here and I'm training for a huge meet (swimming against Missy Franklin- :O) as well as trying to get straight As, so I don't have time for much besides practice and studying. Anyways, Review!**

** Love always,**

** Jenny**


	19. Chapter 19

The nurse finished scribbling on the clipboard and turned to Austin. "Can I get you anything, Mr. Moon? A glass of water?"

He shook his head, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall adjacent to Ally's bed. The nurse glanced at the empty chair to his left.

"Dez will want that, if he comes back." Austin said carefully, trying not to think of his best friend's reaction to having been lied to.

It had been horrible. Not screaming and crying horrible, but worse. Dez had just looked between Austin and Trish, as they stood in the waiting room, and turned away. He had walked purposefully out of the door. Trish had looked at Austin, as if to say 'go after him', but Austin had shaken his head. He had needed to know if Ally was okay.

At the time, it had seemed like the best response. It was, after all, his fault she was there, in the hospital. He had, in turn, resolved to stand by Ally's bedside until she woke up. However long it took.

He checked his watch again, and shifted his weight. 16 hours. Sixteen whole fucking hours of standing and not a ton else. Trish had left after six to go try and find Dez, and promised that, when she did, she'd bring him back a sandwich. But Austin wasn't hungry. He'd attempted to wave off the offer, but she had smacked him and informed him that only one member of Team Austin was allowed to be hospitalized at a time, and if he passed out, she would "fucking murder him". He'd taken her seriously because she rarely ever used profanity.

That was ten hours ago. He briefly thought about the vending machine he'd walked by on the way in. He watched Ally, mind focused on food, and his lack there of.

Sixteen hours like this. Sitting and staring. Staring and starving.

He reached into his left front pocket and felt the change there. He wondered, briefly, if they had been there when he last did his laundry.

When had he last done his laundry, anyways? He tried count the days. Two? Three? He'd brought a lot of clothes with him, so he supposed it didn't really matter. The coins clinking together in his pocket reminded him, again, of his gnawing hunger.

Carefully, quietly, as to avoid Ally waking up in exactly the thirty seconds he would be gone and thinking that he didn't care, he tiptoed out the door, and sprinted down the surprisingly empty hallway to the vending machine. He pulled out the change and counted the quarters and dimes as fast as he could, pushing them into the tiny slot in the machine one by one, and then punched in the code for a Snickers bar. He watched the candy begin to fall out of place. Then, as if in slow motion (though it was a rather slow action) he watched the chocolate get stuck between the tines of the machine. He stared at it for a moment, and pressed his hand against the glass. He vaguely wondered if it was a sign.

Then, mind turning back to his sick girlfriend, he spun around, forgetting his desire to eat, and sprinted back to her room.

Ally's fingers were stiff. The tips of them were tingling, which kind of hurt in a way that reminded her of when she was four years old and decided to play with matches. Despite the fuzzy pain, some part of her brain towards the back of her head was happy, because she hadn't realized she still had fingers until that moment.

That moment was when she knew that she was still alive. She tried to stretch out the tingling stubs at the end of her hands, tried to curl them over. She didn't remember moving her fingers as being so difficult, but, then again, she didn't remember much of anything. He entire head, all her memories, felt like they were wrapped in layers of thick cotton. Everything felt soft and fluffy.

Finally, she felt her fingers move ever so slightly. Through her soft, fluffy world, she heard someone. Someone whose voice she'd been waiting to her. She felt the cotton dissolve. She felt the pressure bellow her stomach tighten. But that voice made it hurt less.

She struggled to open her eyes. It made moving a finger seem so much easier in comparison. She felt a warm hand wrap around her own, and the tingling sensation spread from her fingers up her arm. Her eyes opened. As she slowly and deliberately turned them to her left, she saw Austin smiling tiredly at her.

"Hey." She whispered, unable to manage anything else.

"Hey." He whispered, leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips, carefully avoiding the oxygen nibs in her nose, before withdrawing, squeezing her hand.

She noticed there was something sad about his smile.

"What?" She managed.

He shook his head, and turned the brightness of his smile up a few watts. "Nothing, Ally. Don't worry."

_How can I not worry, _she thought to herself, the last cottony bits around her mind unraveling, _When you look at me like every breath I take is my last?_

** Okay so that chapter sucked. Oh well. Not everything can be perfect. Especially when no one reviews. Seriously, guys, I'm even happy with a "this story=good" from anonymous. You're straining my capacity for love here.**

** Xoxox,**

** Jenny, who has a new hole in her face.**


	20. Chapter 20

Ally fidgeted with her hands as the doctor explained what was happening to her.. It was, in Ally's mind, almost exactly what the nurse at the clinic had explained to her. Ally didn't want to hear about it anymore. Not from Austin, and not from this doctor, nor from the nurse standing behind her. But something the doctor said had caught Ally's attention. She had called Ally's parents. Who were on a flight there. To see her. And talk about her options.

Ally glanced out towards the hallway. Where she could see Austin, waiting. She had a bad feeling that none of these "options" were going to allow Austin to be in the picture. And she had a worse feeling about the baby.

Ever since she'd woken up, the pain in her abdomen had gotten worse with each passing moment. When she told a nurse about it, she'd looked at her for a moment before telling her to wait until her parents arrived.

When she'd asked Austin, he hadn't even looked in her eyes. He had stared at a spot on the wall behind her until she gave up asking. She'd wondered if she'd imagined the sparkling of his eyes..

"Doctor?" she interrupted, in the middle of the doctor's lengthy speech about sever malnourishment and heart failure and all sorts of big, scary things that were either happening or likely to happen to her. The doctor looked at her expectantly.

"Yes?"

"What about my baby? It's been four months. Only four months. Is my baby okay?"

Austin, who had almost completely shrank into the shadows in the corner, straightened up, uncrossing his arms. "Ally..." he started, but the doctor held up a hand to silence him.

"We'll talk about this _later_." She glared at Austin before scribbling something on the clipboard she was holding and walking out.

"...Austin?" Ally breathed, "Is our baby okay?"

_ Flash back_

_Austin sat in the ambulance next to Ally, her limp hand clasped in his, eyes trained on the oxygen mask that was strapped over her mouth. The paramedic to his right was talking rapidly into her walkie talkie, and Austin restrained himself from listening. He had a feeling whatever she was saying was just going to make him more self-pitying and self-loathing than he was already. He settled for focusing on the uneven rise and fall of Ally's chest, praying to whatever god or giant molecule or whatever was out there that she was going to be okay. Not for his sake, but for hers/ He knew he would never stop hating himself now- even if everything worked out, and both she and the baby were fine- he was never going to be okay with who he was. With who he had become._

_ They stopped at the hospital, and as he climbed out of the back of the ambulance next to Ally's stretcher, several doctors shouldered past him. One hollered at a nurse, who gently held his shoulder and guided him to a room with beige walls and a depressing fish tank, as well as several uncomfortable couches that were the same color as the walls. He hadn't sat down, just stood there in a room full of couches and sad looking fish, and stared at the floor. He didn't say a word to the nurse who had led him there, just taken the glass of water she offered him and set it on an empty coffee table with several drink-rings in the dark wood. He didn't watch the nurse leave, but knew she did, as he heard her retreating footsteps._

_ He ran both hands through his hair, eyes still trained on the linoleum. He didn't move from his spot until a quiet voice said, "Mr. Moon?"_

_ He turned. A tall, thin doctor with graying hair stood next to the nurse from earlier._

_ "Yes?" He replied. His voice sounded hoarse. The woman extended her hand and he shook it gingerly._

_ "Are you the father?" Her voice, still quiet, sounded sad._

_ "Yeah." He replied. His hands felt too heavy to run through his hair this time. The doctor nodded curtly._

_ "Please follow me." She carefully reached out and touched Austin's shoulder. "And Mr. __Moon?"_

_ "Call me Austin." Her hand seemed far too heavy on his shoulder._

_ "Austin." The doctor corrected herself, "I'm sorry."_

**It's been too long. Hopefully I won't be this inconsistent with updates. I'm doing my best here, guys. Reviews do help.**

** Don't worry. I still love you.**

** Jenny**


	21. Chapter 21

_"The good news," began the doctor, as Austin stood next to her on the elevator to the pediatric ICU, "Is that the baby was at the minimum gestation for premature children."_

_ He followed, waiting for her to continue. _

_ "The general requirement for babies to be prematurely delivered, as we were forced to do with your baby, is exactly that." She led him into the NICU, where they quickly slid on scrub-like clothing over their clothes. The doctor led him carefully to a crib, which held a tiny baby, slightly larger than a bottle of lotion. The child's skin was almost grey, and a tube down its throat seemed to be helping it breathe. The infant's eyes appeared to be glued shut, and the monitor it was attached to was beeping very slowly._

_ "However, Mr. Moon..." the doctor looked at him sadly, "She is not expected to make it."_

_ Austin looked at his daughter. She had fine, dark hair clinging to her gray scalp. "Why not?" he whispered. It was all he could manage._

_ The doctor drew up a stool and gestured for Austin to sit on it. "Your child has undergone several massive surgical procedures at once. She is, in practicality, too small to survive such procedures."_

_Austin blinked. He wasn't quite sure what he felt. This whole thing... It hadn't felt quite real to him. But staring at the tiny baby, something inside him broke. Or maybe it was already broken._

_ "The machines," He whispered, trying to not let his voice break, "They're keeping her alive?"_

_ The doctor's eyes focused on the tube helping her breathe. "Yes."_

_ Austin stood up. "Can Ally come see her?"_

_ The woman paused, watching Austin's jaw tighten._

_ "When Ms. Dawson wakes up, she can come see her, yes. If she is well enough and if the baby survives until then."_

_ Austin gently placed a finger against the clear side of his daughter's closed bassinet. "Just hold on 'til you meet your mom, 'kay? I promise you that you've never really lived until you've seen her face. It's almost as pretty as yours."_

_ He ran his hand over the tiny pink paper card taped to the glass of the bassinet, the one that read "Baby Girl- 1.5 lbs" in careful type-set._

_ "Can I go see Ally now?"_

The hall way was silent, with the exception of the squeak of the wheelchair, until he spoke.

"Okay, Als, I wanted to tell you this. Not the doctors, not the nurses, _me_." Austin knelt down in front of the wheelchair, placing his hands gently against Ally's cheeks. "Our baby... she's... too small. She can't live without the machines she's hooked up to. She's too premature to survive longer than another day or so. Her organs are failing."

Ally was motionless in the wheelchair. Austin had thought he was broken, but he then realized that it was Ally who was beyond repair. She nodded, wordlessly, neck stiff.

"But she's beautiful, Ally. She's absolutely amazing."

She nodded again, eyes unblinking, and Austin kissed her cheek gently, before standing and beginning to push her wheelchair in the direction of the elevator.

A nurse helped them untangle the baby from the mess of wires. She removed the tube, and turned off all the machines. Another doctor wrapped the baby in a pale pink blanket and carefully passed her to Ally.

"She's been in complete failure as of this morning. Her chances of survival are zero. In these cases, hospital policy states the parents should preferably be with the baby. As we remove her from the machines, all assistance goes with it. Without the machines, her organs will continue to fail, her breathing will slow, and, eventually, her heart will stop beating." He explained.

Austin helped Ally into a near by rocking chair, and sat on a stool next to her, both staring at the baby.

"We should name her." Ally was whispering, as if it was to be a secret between her and Austin that they would give this baby some kind of identity besides a mistake.

"Okay." He murmured into her ear. "What name are you thinking of?"

Both were crying softly.

"Love." replied Ally, kissing the top of the baby's tiny head.

"That sounds perfect." Austin stroked his daughter's forehead with two fingers.

The shattered, broken parts inside of both of them healed in the two remaining hours of their daughter's excessively short life, but the wounds reopened, and bled faster and harder after her feeble heart stopped.

**God I'm a bitch.**

** One more chapter left guys.**

** HOPEFULLY IT WON'T BE AS DAMN POORLY WRITTEN AS THIS ONE. OR AS LATE.**

** Love ya'll.**

** Hope you still love me.**

** Jenny**


	22. Chapter 22

He'd tried, after all that, to keep it together. To keep _them _together. He'd stood there, outside of the hospital, while she whispered that maybe this was a sign, that maybe it wasn't meant to be this, that this was the wrong love at the wrong time and it was tearing her apart and he'd nodded because he was broken. He'd thought he was as shattered as he could possibly be. But, as she leaned in for one last kiss and he felt the tears running down her cheeks as their lips brushed for what she promised him was the last time, as if that was what _he _wanted, he felt himself completely splinter.

Austin watched Ally walk down the sidewalk, feeling his heart, not so much aching as trying to rip itself out of his chest, as her figure shrank into the distance.

"Come back." He whispered, "Come back come back come back come back come back." Oh God. He felt like dying. Like curling up in the alley behind the hospital next to the old syringes and the jittery heroin addicts and just staying there until one day someone found him and wondered why the shriveled-up mummy of a 16-year old blonde guy was behind the hospital.

His phone was ringing.

It was that obnoxious ring tone Ally had set for everyone who wasn't her. He considered answering it, but he didn't want to talk to anyone, and he wasn't sure if her could. He let the phone ring. The sound filled the empty space in and around him, vibrating with something not happy and not sad, but just there. When the ringing stopped, he reached into his back pocket, digging out his cell, and, without checking to see who had called, threw it, as hard as he possibly could, into the gutter on the other side of the street. He had managed to fuck up himself everyone around him. He wasn't going to let himself do that again.

Next to the shattered remains of his phone there was, strangely, a payphone. He tried to remember if he's spent all his change back in the hospital. He was pretty sure he had. There was a quarter, though, sitting on the edge of the metal box surrounding it. He pushed the quarter into the slot and dialed.

"Mom." He whispered, trying his very best _to keep his shit together. _**"**Mom. I want to move in with Dad. I can't come home."

He hung up the phone before she could respond, and found his way to the tour bus, whose driver was missing, keys thrown on the carpeted floor behind the driver's seat. He picked up the keys, felt in his wallet for his license, and sighed. "As long as I'm fucking up my entire life, might as well ditch the tour and Grand-Theft-Auto my way to Topeka." He muttered.

"It's college, Mom. I've been here three years already and I'm _fine._You need to calm down." Austin paused, running a hand through his still-blonde hair, as his mother responded, barely coherent through her panic, "Because I didn't think you _needed _to know that I transferred to UCLA." The bus rolled up to its stop, and he pulled out some cash, haphazardly paying his fare while simultaneously trying to calm down his panicking mother. "Mom. It's fine. This has been my dream since I was a little kid- Just calm down. Mom. Ugh. Love you." Finally tired of her screaming at him, he sat down next to a girl with bleached blonde hair and several ear piercings, and hung up. He glanced at the journal in her lap.

"What's that?" He asked, "Poetry?"

She looked up at him, brown eyes blinking in surprise, slightly taken aback at this stranger's forwardness. Then she froze, eyes growing even larger, and something in his mind clicked. "Oh my God." He whispered. "What did you do to your hair?"

*_Fin._

_Or Something._

**UM UM UM UM THAT LAST PART IS ACTUALLY KIND OF THE INTRODUCTION TO THE SEQUEL I'M WRITING THAT YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY GONNA WANT TO READ BECAUSE IT'LL BE FUNNIER THAN THIS AND MORE FUN. M'kay. Well that's it for this story, but, in case you couldn't tell, there is a sequel thing I'm working on that will be better and you will love it.**

**Or something.**

**Love you!**

**Just 'cause this is over doesn't mean you can stop reviewing. Totally keep reviewing. Kthxbye.**

**Love ya'll!**

**Jenny**


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